ONE SATURDAY NIGHT, AT 03:00 AM. [ | ]

It’s Christmas eve, the city is waiting for the Big Ben to hit midnight but you are acknowledging it in the best way possible, isn’t it ??

Saturday night, every inch of London wrapped in snow and your curtain half lowered dropping the room into darkness but lifted just enough to let you catch a glimpse of the snowfall every now and then. Everything in place, Christmas tree standing tall, decorated and beautiful, gifts scattered next to it, fireplace well lit, log twitching and burning, trying it’s best to provide you with warmth and comfort in the otherwise cold world, simultaneously throwing light onto your face illuminating all the sides of you, even the ones you keep well hidden. And then there you are watching his favorite show F.R.I.E.N.D.S, celebrating it with 6 people you both admired, sitting on the couch like a lazy kitten, all cozied up in the blanket and mum’s hand knit sweater (which looks good on you btw *wink*), sipping hot chocolate, resting your feet on the center table, which I don’t think is such a good idea cause if mum sees that then even Jesus Christ won’t be able to save you from her wrath. *Devil’s Laugh* But who cares… eh ?? Until she is not around of course.

Even now you have that diary and your favorite pen seated on your lap. Why ??

Suddenly you burst into laughter, was it Chandler or Joey or your own PJ that cracks you up but no one else seems to get it. Which one was it this time, I wonder.

*****

I am watching you, I have always been. I hope you know. I know you do.

*****

Elena carelessly glanced at her watch, 11:11 PM; she smirked, why do I keep seeing this every other day, maybe universe really wants me to make a wish, she chuckled thinking.

She closed her eyes and made a wish finally, silently.

After spending another hour with Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey,  she was called back to her real world by her cell phone. It was her parents on the other end. Wishing each other “Merry Christmas” and confirmation as of the time they shall be arriving tomorrow was the best thing she has heard in recent past, she couldn’t help but smile through the misty eyes even long after the call was disconnected.

In an instant, she got up keeping her diary on the table, stretched her arms and decided to call it a day. But before doing so she got this inexplicable urge to look outside for a while. Walking towards the window in a strut manner but with very calculated steps, she somehow managed to keep herself focused.
With Ian gone, she has lost her presence of mind lately.

Tenebrosity of midnight is beautiful. Howling of the wind piercing the silence every once in a while, falling of snowflakes and me to witness all of this is phenomenal, she admitted to her acute consciousness. It’s not been long since I moved to this part of the city, outskirts so to call, still, it feels like I have been living here for ages, the sense of belonging is unquestionable and I would want to keep it that way, she thought.

But her mind started to wander again, Ian…

How happy he was that evening, all dressed up brimming with love, she was lost in his hypnotizing eyes and him in her unearthly innocense. His deep brooding voice had a hint of excitement today, he couldn’t contain the idea of telling her, how he has taken care of every bit of his plan to take her to see the Northern Lights, which she wanted to, ever since she had an idea that something so mystical exists. He had something else in mind too, he was going to propose the moon of his life, under that sky, where stars look down in witness to light up and bind their alliance forever.
He actually blushed thinking of this and watching him was pure bliss. No wonder he brought her to his favorite place and chose dusk to tell her this, to cheer her up, as he knew sunsets make her sad.
How long have they known each other by then, 10 years or so if she remembered correctly?

It would have been more than perfect if they have been together today…

A sudden cloud of sadness popped up and started to fog her senses, she felt queasy. After a moment of despair, she lifted the window pane up. The wind outside changed its course to touch her, drawing sharp invisible curves on her face, playing hide and seek with her long locks, making her shiver in calmness. It flew in further, flickering the fire, disturbing the decoration and ruffling the pages of her diary as if it was to read as many pages as possible before Elena notices and decides to put the window pane down to shield her secrets from flying away from her. But she was too engrossed in her thoughts to bother about any of this, anymore.

Why, why was I so lost in the moment, WHY!!!!! Couldn’t I just be a bit more careful, god damn, she cursed herself under her breath. 

She remembered walking on the pavement, holding the bunch of roses in one hand and his in the other, as they ditched the cab and decided to stroll around back home. They were happy and it was perfect, yes perfect is the word. He teased her by placing a peck on her rose-tinted cheek and blushing even more, she tossed on her heel to hit him with the rose bunch he bought. In that unfortunate fraction of a second, she lost her balance and next thing she heard was a sharp blow of horn, chaos and his voice; Elenaaaaa… are you… and his voice trailed off, he was still holding her, but the grip loosened every passing second.

No… No… No, Ian…PLEASE NOOOO… Nooooo… No.

Time is an illusion, you think you have forever. There was so much more to this and everything else, so much to say, so much to do and how many moments to share, she has lost count of those dreams now. Everything came crashing down, to a halt and only God knows what ended even before it could begin…

Moments passed like ages, unlike joy with all the radiance around, sorrow is lonely. Elena stood still, staring into the blackness, she was freezing but was too numb to realize that. 
The queer sound of log cracking and fire dying across the room, reached her ears finally, without troubling to look around she slid the pane down and saw her reflection in the dim light, a young lady, hazel of eye, brown of mane, fair complected in her late twenties standing in a state of mess, with sad eyes staring straight back at her as if she could see through and read her mind and just then in that precise moment, she smiled.
Elena was taken aback! Her stomach twisted to turn into a knot, she could bet her life, that girl smiled. Eerie silence. Fire subsided.

She stumbled, turned back and walked aimlessly, the only direction in mind: Away.
After few dragged steps, which felt like climbing a steep wall, she rushed towards her room with all her might and bolted the door, double checked.
You are just losing your mind, this is ridiculous! Get some sleep, you have been thinking way too much lately, she scorned, shouting at herself.

She gathered her scattered pieces together and put it to sleep. Falling asleep was rather easy tonight, no one in her head was talking, surprisingly, though.

*****

Elena awoke with a start, with a terrible shriek escaping her lip that got lost in the sinister silence of that night. She started to lose track of time, sense of her surrounding and consciousness of her mind, body, and soul. What’s happening again, she tried to make sense. Her eyes burdened, head thumping, throat dried… scratchy and in that split moment of stillness, she heard her own heartbeat aching, realizing how silence is consuming her inside out. She didn’t want to close her eyes, afraid to blink, sweating profusely, her throat hurt even worse now, she stretched her hand for help, nobody around, silence. She wanted to scream in despair, but only her uneven breathing filled the space between her and the uncertainty, echoing in her ears like a storm. She was in immense pain, every bit of her existence hurt. She couldn’t move, paralyzed for that instant.

That mesmerisingly beautiful snowfall turned into a blizzard by now and night didn’t seem very calm.

Time kept ticking. Every single memory that she clenched so close to her heart and some which were long forgotten, started to play like a motion picture in front of her. It was hypnotizing. Between her and another world was an edge and it was fascinating, tempting her to take a leap of death. She shut her eyes, so this is how dying hours of a life feels like… huh?? Am I ready… She questioned herself.

But before she could draw a conclusion, everything went in tranquility, including her. It was all gone, nothing hurt, nothing troubled any more, at last, finally she ‘felt’… nothing.
She grew weightless as if her soul was floating in the thin air above her.

Where is she ?? Is she dead already… ascending from ground zero to plain infinity?

Elena!… she clearly heard someone calling her name, sand slipped faster in the hour-glass, this time.

Ian… ??

Pitch-Black, Dread silence!

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